Closing the Sexual Betrayal Window
By Eddie Capparucci, MA, LPC
A window of opportunity is a limited time period that allows us to engage in an opportunity or activity that is not available to us 24-7. Windows of opportunities come up often in the business world where executives must make snap decisions to engage or walk away from prospective deals.
Windows of opportunity also play themselves out with sexual addiction, primarily with the use of pornography and masturbation. Addicts are always looking for what I term “an open window” where they can act out without being caught.
What does an open window look like for the porn addict?
- Your wife announces she is heading out to grocery shop and the kids are at the movies with their friends. You got the house to yourself for at least 90 minutes.
- Your wife and kids are taking an overnight trip to visit her mother.
- You get to work early before everyone arrives or stay late after all have left.
As you can see, an open window can come in all sizes and depth. Some open windows are only slightly ajar and require the addict to act quickly, while others windows are wide open and provide more time for engaging in dishonoring behaviors.
What is the secret to dealing with open windows? Shut them immediately and shut them tight. How?
When you see a window of opportunity open – and you will always be able to recognize one – take the proper steps to close it. For example, let’s go back to the wife heading out to the store. A window is open and you need to close it. You do so by being proactive. To accomplish this you could:
- Go to the store with your wife
- Run your own errands
- Dive into a house project
- Head to the gym
- Call a friend to hang out with
Methods for closing an open window are endless but it requires that you are mindful of the current situation. You also need to determine if you are struggling mentally, emotionally, physically or spiritually. If you are feeling drained in one or more of these areas closing the open window will be more difficult. Therefore, you need to keep yourself replenished because when we are drained bad things happen, like struggling with sexual integrity because an open window will not shut properly.
Eddie Capparucci, MA, LPC is a licensed Christian counselor with a private practice in Marietta, GA. He is certified in the treatment of sexual addiction by the American Association of Christian Counselors. He can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org Read more of his materials at his blogs:
Eddie Capparucci, MA, LPC is a licensed Christian counselor with a private practice in Marietta, GA. He specializes in marriage counseling and sexual addiction. He also has a strong passion for helping Christian overcome their shame in order to move closer to God. You can read more of his materials at his blog www.TamingChristianShame.com and his professional website www.abundantlifecounselingga.com