"I have tried and tried to break this addiction. I make it for a few days, or weeks - one time I even made it for several months - but I always seem to slip back into porn and fall flat on my face. Can I ever be free of this addiction?"
I've heard statements like this one dozens, possibly hundreds, of times in my life. I've even said it myself, on numerous occasions. Down to this very day, though porn no longer has the hold on me it once did, I can easily be tempted and begin to traipse down the wrong path.
Yet, even now, I can - and do - live in (and into) freedom.
You can too.
You may not be perfect, but you can be free! If you're struggling with this thought, take a minute and read the following 7 tips designed to encourage you give you the STRENGTH to fight on!
1. Struggle with porn does not necessarily mean addiction to porn. Let's face it: we live in a porn-saturated society. The sexual objectification of humankind has become the most dominate social imaginary, or narrative (cultural waters in which we swim) of the modern era. If you've every struggled with porn, you likely always battle it because the culture in which we live has embraced it and absorbed it at alarming rates!
2. Relapse or setbacks may happen, but every moment of victory you've experienced has 'raised the floor' for you. As such, you don't have to fall as far! The significant moment is the moment of response to your relapse. Don’t sulk in your misery and don’t believe the lie the relapse is perpetuating! Rather . . . .
3. Engage in meaningful activities. Listen, you are made to do really cool things. You have unique gifts and your life brings significant contributions to others. Go out there and get after it!
4. Never give up! #Nuffsaid!
5. Grab a friend who can help you on this journey! I do not believe that you can live in victory and isolation at the same time. Freedom requires loving, meaningful, and caring community. Don’t stay stuck in the isolation – that will lead to further relapse. Get out and grab a friend whose willing to go with you!
6. Take some time to enjoy the good things you have in life! I find that gratitude helps me stay strong, especially when I’m down on myself. No matter how hard the battle is or how far my fall has been, when I stop and recount all the good things or blessings in my life, my perspective changes. Think about your health, your home, your relationships, your work, your skills, talents, family, etc. Focus on good things for a while!
7. Habit your way back into freedom! I know that’s an odd way to say it, but the simple fact is this: your porn addiction or sexual compulsion is now a habitual behavioral pattern that you’ve developed over time. You have to develop new patterns and reroute those neural pathways toward health and wholeness.
Remember when you played sports? Coaches know this truth and teach it.
It’s called muscle memory.
Some say it takes between 3,000 – and 5,000 repetitions to establish new muscle memory patterns.
It can be done, but it only comes with intention and practice!
I hope this helps. If so share it with those you know and love.
We at Men Against Porn seek nothing short of the eradication of porn in our life time. Frankly, we need your help to see this come to fruition.
It’s time to speak up and stand with us.